The Unknown

What's gonna happen...how's this gonna work...how am I going to pay this bill...how will I make the numbers crunch...how am I going to get the medicine I need...how am I going to tell my parents...am I going to lose my job...will my wife sign the papers...is my husband going to leave me...am I going to die...what is my boss thinking...what are my peers thinking...how will I hold it all together...will I be able to sleep tonight...will my child live through the night...will I ever walk again...how am I going to make this work and....what if I don't...The unknown.

Because of my job, I am in different hospitals throughout the day. I try to frequent the chapels...I know where they all are...I even have my favorites...they help anchor me as I work through the week. After taking one of my medical sets to St Francis today, I went to the chapel to spend a few moments in prayer.  It was one of THOSE times...I walked in not expecting anything different, and no sooner did I walk through the doors of the chapel did that sweet wonderful cloud of his presence seem to descend, fill the room, and surround me.  I hurried to the very front pew and under the cross, before the altar, I couldn't wait to fall to my knees. Words of prayer and intercession came easy this time.

I was troubled by a few things this morning as I usually am...just ask my wife! And as I knelt there before an almighty God filled with his presence, fixed on his fire, I thought...ya know it's funny...whenever we are troubled, worried, or in fear of the unknown, we are called to seek something that is a gzillion times more.....unknown.

"Whatsoever thy hand finds to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest." Ecclesiastes 9:10

My Father-in-law, Earl, spends much of his time in his workshop. He's been a carpenter for most of his life. He's a simple man and understands simple things...things he can get his hands on...measure...draw....cut...nail...glue...construct...create...he tells me all the time, "Sean, Jesus was a carpenter". As though I'd never heard that. Earl would always use his craft (and still would like to) to help others in need.

Carol loves to teach her home school kids as they gather each Friday. She plans for it all week. There's no monetary benefit. She’s gifted to do this, and there are few things in her life, now, that she finds more fulfilling. She poors her knowledge, her faith, and her life into these kids. She is always describing to me how she is finding God in her studies...and her work.

We have these friends.  There into some weird stuff. They know about weird things.  A yellow butterfly passes by and they recognize that it’s a ”cloudless sulfur". They craft wigs out of newspaper. They study and build anything electronic, raise animals in their backyard, eat chicken & waffles for dinner, and they were the ones who introduced us to the amazing adventures of geocaching! They live life and we marvel at the way they live it to the fullest. They are an amazing family, and they are continually fascinated with God's designs.

It started as an idea. My walk with God was missing something. I had trained my mind to remember and look back at what words God had given me when I was going through difficult times.  But it wasn't enough. I needed something more tangible to remind me. I had always told others to journal, but hadn't tried it myself. After a couple of entries into my iPhone note pad, my hands…I mean thumbs…took off. Now it's a blog and I love it! Many have told me how much they are blessed by it, and I hope someday someone will tell me they follow Christ because of it.  My day can be full of worries, but somehow this blog takes me deeper into Him and causes the worries to fade...at least a bit.

I think God has given us a wonderful gift in that we can find Him, learn from him, and walk with him through tangible means...our re-creation...in our carpentry projects, our teaching projects, our blogging, our gardening, our newspaper wig-making….our creating.

We are faced with the unknown. Every minute of the day. We wake up with it and go to sleep with it. Many live in fear, stress and sickness because of it. Many are addicted to drugs because of it.

When we were going through the daily battle of Joy's Alzheimer’s, Earl would be out in the shop and say, "Sean it just helps my mind so much". Sometimes he's almost giddy out there. "Jesus was a carpenter."

"sometimes you're in the cloud, sometimes you're in the creed, sometimes you're in the stars, sometimes you're next to me" Jason Upton

When we’re faced with so many unknowns in our lives, I think it’s helpful to grasp hold of some "knowns"...maybe even lose ourselves in them a bit...we might find an amazing God right there with us, hanging out, creating with us, enjoying it with us.

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 

1 Corinthians 10:31

Sacred

When I was 9 years old, my brother and I decided to spend the summer "can collecting". This was going to be our attempt to strike it rich and have plenty of money for whatever toys, army gear, weapons, or sports equipment we would ever need. Each day we would load up our wagon with daily supplies, i.e. food, drinks and tools for collecting. It was the most exciting thing we had ever done! We couldn't wait until the next morning to continue our adventure of a lifetime!

All sorts of things happened as we hunted for our monetary means, each day. I remember we would travel into "unknown lands", ya know, the apartment complex behind our neighborhood. There was this kid that I guess lived there. He would always seem to meet up with us. He had to have been a part of some foreign culture or unknown origin from some mysterious world because he would always greet us by yelling "hey whites over here, over here whites"...and he would accompany us on our many journeys. Never could figure out why he called us that.

By the end of the summer, we made $3.65!!!  For some reason I still remember that exact amount. We were baffled that we hadn't struck it rich...but we didn't care...it turned out to be a great summer...we had experienced an amazing adventure....it's like that particular summer was somehow...sacred.

Occasionally, we will make a trek to Mayesville Cemetary down by Paul’s Valley, Oklahoma. It's where Carol's "Grammy" Jane Carnes and her son Buster are buried. It's always like a holy pilgrimage. Her Grammy was a passionate follower of Jesus and it was Grammy that raised Carol up in the faith and taught her the things of God. Jane Carnes' husband was a fiery Baptist preacher. We consider the ground "hallowed" and it was a holy moment when we buried Carol's mom there.

The ground is holy because it was drenched with tears from when Jane Carnes buried her 9 year old son, Buster, July 8, 1931...daily she returned with Carol's mother in arms, to mourn the loss of her son. When we visit, we point out their graves to our children, tell the story of what happened, and point out the tree where Carol's mom played as a little girl while Grammy...wept and mourned. It's always been a little extra special to Carol and me because July 8 is also my birthday. It's like the place is...sacred.

I don't know what I would do if I were not able to recognize "sacred signposts" throughout my life.  At times I feed off of moments in my past where I now can recognize where God's hand was moving....in the wonderful times...and the horrible times. I can even look back at the worst experience of my life, that I recently wrote about, and see many specific instances where he moved majestically...and though I hated what happened, I will always cherish how he moved and how we walked through it together...because of that I can say with all humility...I know him...I have seen him...and he is good....follow him.

These sacred moments enable me now to reach into my present trial, struggle, or circumstance and "lay hold of that for which Christ has laid hold of me". They have taught me and continue to teach me the mystery of dwelling in him, pressing in, and "pressing on towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus". They have taught me to reach into the moment and with a sword in hand, slay the dragons, the enemies of my soul and lift up my eyes to him!....and worship!!!!

When I first came to the Lord, I had a pastor who would always tell us that we needed to develop a personal history with God. Being an "infant" I always thought, what the heck is he talking about?  Now I know. Now I have a rich past to draw from and to help me more easily realize and recognize the sacred moments in the present....and to discover that EVERY moment is sacred, holy, divine in Jesus Christ....to recognize that "ALL THINGS work together for the good for those who are called according to his purpose" and "he is working ALL things in conformity to his purpose in will". 

I have learned from these sacred signposts that no matter what chaos is happening around us, we can shout! We have a voice! "Offer up a sacrifice of praise, THE FRUIT OF YOUR LIPS". In every moment "offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God". Oh and you know that scripture, "pray without ceasing". I used to think, impossible!! No way!! Now I have found there is no other way to live...every second is holy, sacred....every second is a prayer.

“When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me”  1 Corinthians 13:11

Burden Bearing

"Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2

She said, "this life has turned out harder than I ever dreamed" "our family has suffered great tragedy"

"This life has turned out harder than I ever dreamed."

These words have echoed through my heart the past couple of days over and over again. It came in an email two days ago from a friend I had lost touch with...haven’t talked in years. I went to the same church as her family did.  It was one of those "superchurches"....ya know, growing by leaps and bounds, God was "moving mightily", we were all gonna do "great things" for God.

Tragedy wouldn’t fit into the equation.

I have always known this person as a passionate follower of Christ. I don't believe that has changed. I believe she is still, wholeheartedly in love with Jesus. Although I haven't spoken with her in years, judging from the email, I have no doubt she is still "working out her salvation with fear and trembling". I also know this person is not a "wimp". She can take some hits. I've seen her take some.

"My family has suffered great tragedy."

But she's a faithful believer! A true lover of God!  What's the deal?!? Why?

I honestly do not know what's happened in her life. I don't know what loss...what tragedy she has endured. But ya know what....I agree with her...I agree with her wholeheartedly. This life has turned out much harder than I ever dreamed...it hurts...it’s difficult... it can even be unbearable…sometimes the pain from loss cannot be soothed, and the clouds of darkness cannot be dispelled. In fact, at times I look back over the years and think, man if I knew that had been coming, I’m not sure I would have had the courage to take one more step!

My heart breaks for my "old friend"...I don't know what has hurt her and her family, and I don't pretend to know their pain...I only know my own. But my own pain is exactly what drives me to embrace the pain of others…well that, and Jesus.

Let's stop there for a second. By nature I'm a pretty selfish person....okay, very selfish. It's all about Sean sometimes. So...let's do some calculations...math has never been my strong subject but we'll give it a shot.

By nature I am selfish...but my heart is hurting for my friend...though I'm selfish, I do pray for God's heart...so, maybe God has shared his heart with me...so if I am hurting for my friend and I have prayed to know God’s heart, maybe God would like me to let her know he is hurting for her, loving her, thinking about her,...carrying her...

And since I am by nature a selfish person...but the pain I have endured causes me to embrace those around me in their struggle, then maybe I should be busy about fulfilling the law of Christ...what? Fulfilling the law of Christ? Me? Fulfill the law of Christ? Have you seen my sin?

When the disciples urged Jesus to eat, he said, "my meat is to do the will of him who sent me".

I'm not sure what Jesus meant by this but it makes me think, YES!!! When I reach out to others around me to help them in some way, be it ever so simple, I WALK AWAY FULL. I FEEL FED. I love to eat food…but there is nothing like being used of God even if it's in just some small way. It can be VERY FULFILLING. Our meat is to do the will of the Father by worshiping Him and carrying one another’s burdens….and so fulfill the law of Christ.

I can't explain why terrible things happen in this world. I can't explain why terrible things happen to my beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, but I can tell you that I'm not sure I would have as deep of the taste of God’s heart and love if it were not for having the opportunity to live in this fallen world...and having to suffer this life...what I’m saying is (please don’t throw stones at my theology, I’m just rambling) we all know hurt and pain can cause us to realize a deeper love in ourselves and others and God. So while the Garden brought perfect bliss, is it possible we are blessed with ever-increasing depths of the revelation of God’s love through experiencing him in this fallen world? Sometimes when I see someone hurting, it makes me realize so much more how much I love them!

“to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” Ephesians 3:18

And I say these things with gentle respect....I've never lost a child...I've never gone through divorce...I've never fought in a war and had to take another's life...I've never gone without food to the point of sickness or impending death...I've never gone without food for more than a day!....I've never had to live in a cardboard shack with a dirt floor...I've never gone without plumbing or heating or air conditioning....or even clean water…

"The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out." Proverbs 20:5

The heart is a mysterious thing and God is a mysterious God. It’s the most mysterious organ besides the mind, perhaps. Funny...God chose to live there.

When I sit with a person, a friend that is suffering…I never know what to say…even feel stupid sometimes…but I know that deep in my heart something “supernatural” is happening…there’s this hurt…this burden…this something…this love…that makes me want to sit there with them instead of going and watching TV or something…maybe in some small way…in that instance…the law of Christ is being fulfilled…a burden is being shared…

My Asylum

"So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.  After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him."

It was nothing short of horrifying...

I was the "chosen one".

The one chosen to end the world.

My thoughts demanded it.

I was the one to ultimately rise as the end-time ruler.

I was Hitler.

I was Napoleon.

I was Nero...

I was Nebechadnezer.

I was Firestarter.

I was Charles Manson.

I was Judas.

I was Anti-Christ.

I was the one chosen to lead millions to an eternity of hell.

...and I would soon be there too...

I was in every television show.

The subject of every radio talk show.

Ya just had to hear it.

In the coded language.

It was happening.

The whole world was watching.

Me.

What is this jacket on me?!? Why are my arms strapped around my body like this?!? What is this place?!? Who am I?!? My mind won't stop racing!!!...who are these people?!?....they hate me...they know who I am!!!....they want me in hell because they know I'm taking them there...who are these people?...what are they doing to me?

This was about 5 minutes of torture that my mind was enduring when I was institutionalized 22 years ago in the state mental hospital....5 minutes...it took years to be healed of this! ....5 out of thousands of agonizing, terror-driven minutes...several agonizing years of treatments, different meds, hospitals, embarrassments, suicide attempts, family pain, and more hospitals...it almost ended once...yes, it was finally over...after several years of battling mental illness, the medical staff cut the bed sheets from around my neck as I hung from the ceiling of the Crisis Center...I was totally blue...but somehow they had managed to breathe life back into me again.   

Soon after this I did find an amazing doctor…the correct diagnosis, as well as, the correct treatment. They called it paranoid schizophrenia, stress-induced psychosis, bipolar disorder...and on and on and on...
Most who know me now are shocked when I tell them about this.  There are no signs of it because with the right treatment, complete healing is possible.  I have an amazing and beautiful family with one of the healthiest and strongest marriages I know of.  I have a high-functioning job and an amazing circle of friends.

But there's this little thing called stigma...it's not like I had cancer or heart disease or something like that...it's mental illness...ya know...one of "those people"...Truth be told, many of us have one of "those people" in our families.  But do you know what my mental illness was?....thousands of demons attacking me?....no...a genetic birth defect?....maybe...in a way....I don't know because I'm adopted...don't know my family history....but this is what I know for sure. It was some kind of seratonin/salt/chemical imbalance!!!  Something so simple caused so many hours and years of horrible torture!

I do have a point in telling this story...it's so easy to be bitter, angry, confused...it's so easy to ask why God?  Why me? Why didn't you help me? Why didn't you get me to that "amazing" doctor quicker? What was all of that? What was the point?

I don't have any answers to any of those questions....but did you read the scripture at the top of the page? I LOVE that guy!...I mean...Man...I mean, God...read the story…so intimate…such love!

Like John, the beloved, I want to "lean upon the breast of Jesus"...and listen to his heartbeat while a chaotic world rages around me. Do you realize if he was here today, walking the earth, he would take the garment from his body..."the shirt off his back" and wash our filth...and minister to us....and soothe our hurts...and calm our hearts...and ease our minds...and go to work with us and go to our kids' games with us...and go on vacations with us...stay up all night with us while were sick...buy us breakfast, lunch and dinner?...you do the math, I'm serving him...what a passionate friend, what a passionate God...!!!

"a friend that sticks closer than a brother"

Annaliese walked up behind me yesterday, put her arms around me, and unsuccessfully tried to trick me into thinking it was Justus...she asked, "man how'd you know it was me?!?" I said, "chicka!...I know your feel, I know your smell, I know you so well, I know your guts!!!" 

Go read through the book of John...the main character of that story...knows you, loves you, walks with you, helps you, is preparing eternity for you, a place for you...he knows your guts!!!...and he's crazy about you...

Eternal Priesthood

"Now if you obey me fully and keep my covenant, then out of all nations you will be my treasured possession. Although the whole earth is mine, you will be for me a kingdom of priests and a holy nation."  Exodus 19:6

Astounding!!! God takes his people out of Egypt and plops them down right in the middle of the desert...in the middle of nowhere...in the heat, the dirt, the grime, the wind, the desolation, the nothingness, and says to them...today you have become my Holy, Majestic, Royal, Divine, Mysterious, Eternal KINGDOM OF PRIESTS!!! TREASURED POSSESSION!!! HOLY NATION!!! Although the whole earth is mine...in fact, everything...in the entire universe!...from age to age, eternity to eternity is mine...YOU are my treasure...you have a Divine Destiny...you are Royalty!

THEN!!! The time had arrived. For the receiving of the covenant...the law...the 10 commandments! Read it when you get a chance...the dense cloud was to come on Moses...the mountain was to be roped off with orders not to touch! The fire was about to fall, the smoke was about to pour forth...another cataclysmic event was about to overtake them...a Divine Entrance...a mighty move of Almighty God, himself!  A glorious moment for these little people…

This....is where I live...plopped down in the middle of the desert, fighting the annoying dust and wind and grime and all the inconveniences of desert living and...along with it comes the chaos and confusion and stress of dealing with all these people in this camp in the middle of nowheresville!  I'm thirsty...and when I'm thirsty, I go to get a drink and there are those annoying needles...all over my cactus!!! Ugh!!!  There's all this sand!!! And rocks!!!

And in the midst of it all...even my immaturity...God moves majestically...and reminds me....although the whole earth is his, I and the amazing, beautiful, treasured people in my camp are part of His Eternal Enterprise! The Bride of Christ...destined for the throne, destined to wear royal garments and eternal badges of honor.

The work I currently do here in Tulsa...trauma consultant for a medical device company...brings me to very interesting situations in the operating room...situations you would never expect with a patient on the table under anesthesia. I have some very nice and professional surgeons to work with but I also have some very twisted individuals who enjoy berating every person in the OR...who with knife in hand and patient sliced open, enjoy toying with medical reps in the room...calling in extras to bring unneeded supplies, sending them on wild goose chases, “waving carrots in front of their faces” to entice them to do unethical things to get a sale...only to finally end up dumping implants into their patients supplied by a relative, a brother, a friend, a lover....whether the patient needs it or not...

I think day after day, what a slop house! What a graveyard of corrupted, arrogant little kings who rule their pathetic little kingdoms with insecurity, money and pseudo power! I have seen time and time again, the sanctity of the operating room violated and the welfare of the patient undermined and well… completely forgotten in my opinion. I have literally had to stand over the “back table” (inst. Table) face to face with a surgeon screaming every vulgarity at me only to be “kicked out” because I would not bow to his pressure or give in to his blasphemies! 

These surgeons remind me of Philippians 3; 19.  “Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.”

When I walk through these hospitals (their kingdoms) I pray for them…I am reminded of what their dark kingdoms (someday dungeons) represent and I’m moved to intercession…for them...the patients…and the hospitals…I think about the “wars” I have had with them, the financial loss from “doing the right thing” and the battles with my own pride of “losing the game”…and I do not doubt that I have been thrust into this fiery furnace…led into this desert by Him.   

But, in this desert...these difficult times, my God is still with me…whispering in my ear…Kingdom…priests…eternity…beloved…royal…majestic…holy nation…treasure…possession…rewards…of honor…of greatness…of holiness…sometimes he whispers…then sometimes he roars!...and like on Mount Sinai that day, the fire falls, the smoke billows, and the Divine Entrance of Almighty God, the Lord Jesus Christ!...penetrates this “realm” and shows himself to me!

It is somehow so good...when you're there...in the struggle...the desert...and you can look up and see Him, Jesus...you can look up and almost see forever!...you can almost see the "holy ecclesia" of God being pulled out of here!...and you keep looking and you can see the House of God, the Kingdom of Priests working, living, worshiping...in the new heaven and the new earth!!! 

This is what drives me...daily. My feet may be in hot sand but my heart is in His kingdom...and my eyes are fixed on my Lord, my Jesus, my King...for I know that I am a part of an Eternal Priesthood!

"For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones." Isaiah 57:15

The Art Of Warfare

"As they began to sing and praise, the Lord set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated." 

2 Chronicles 20:22

Wow!!!  Have you ever experienced this in your own life?  Have you ever been surrounded by your enemies (stress, worry, confusion, despair, loneliness, sorrow, poverty, marital struggle, family struggle, etc) and began lifting your voice, singing his praise, worshiping the King...then slowly...or suddenly...it was as though the Lord set ambushes...he caused these enemies of your soul to turn on each other...he caused them to flee...he caused peace to flood them...overwhelm them...push them out of your life?

I have, once again, been thinking about the early days of my conversion...those amazing, miraculous times that I will always cherish. It never ceases to amaze me when I think about the gift that God redeemed...how in a matter of days I went from writing, singing and playing such dark, despairing "alternative" music to writing, singing, and playing WORSHIP!!! The psalms had come alive and they flowed out of me with new melodies that were literally effortless to create!!!

But that's not the most amazing part. The days that followed my first "encounter" with God were wonderful but soon turned very, very difficult. While it was truly a new life that I had been birthed into...the life I had left behind did not want to let go so easily....call it oppression, possession, depression, addiction...call it whatever you want...I call it warfare!!! The enemy did not want to let go and words cannot express the severity of this battle! Close friends and family know the anguish and the hardship I endured the first few years of following my Lord.

“blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.  As they pass through the valley of Baca (weeping) they make it a place of springs”

It was in those years and those difficult times that I learned to cultivate a deep, intimate, personal, secret, powerful life of worship. It is no exaggeration when I tell you that hour after hour, day after day, week after week...in every free second...I couldn't wait…I ran to be with my God!...in the secret place of the Most High...under the shadow of his wings...whenever I could....wherever I could...NOTHING ELSE MATTERED!...I had a nothing job and I didn't care.  I couldn't wait to get off work to go and be with the Lover Of My Soul!!!...”my soul yearned, even fainted for the courts of the Lord…”

"my soul follows hard after thee"

I couldn't wait to get home and pick up my guitar and sing to him!!! And I sang and I played for Him!...for hours!...and I consumed his word. It’s all I knew to do...I didn't know how to pray! I just sang the psalms and he was always so faithful to meet me there...there was healing in his wings...and there was deliverance, sweet deliverance!…his presence was my delight!...he made my enemies scatter!...it was also in those times  I learned the art of warfare in worship....my soul exploded with songs of praise! My instrument felt like a weapon and my voice, it seemed, thundered into the heavenlies…The enemy didn't stand a chance!!!...I was in awe, and I look back on those times still very awestruck...”he prepared a table for me in the presence of my enemies”…he REALLY was my hiding place…”he surrounded me with songs of deliverance…he made me to lie down in green pastures…”

Day after day, he calmed my anxious soul…he eased the worry and the traffic in my mind…he walked with me in the cool of the day, in fact, that is just what I did. I couldn’t wait for my days off…they were spent ENTIRELY devoted to seeking him and he truly walked with me!…Jehovah Shamah, the Lord surely was there!

I carry these early years with me wherever I go and through whatever I encounter. Its interesting, I can drive around the many places in Oklahoma City and point out the "dark places" and the "dark things" I did before I met Christ...and...now...I can drive around the many places in OKC where I encountered Him and spent time with Him...and grew to know him...literal places where I learned to worship him, places where I learned to intercede for the church...the nations...Carol loves to tell the story of when we met, we would go to pray in the prayer chapel at Baptist Hospital...for hours...ugh...what a date!...I've since made it up to her!...she loved it though...

"Praise be to the LORD my Rock, who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle."

My desire never changes…whether I am alone with Him or before a congregation of people…my soul’s desire is to explode in honoring him, thanking him, loving him, remembering what he has done, and worshiping him for who he is…in Spirit and in Truth…my desire is that as we lift him up and praise him and worship him, he would set ambushes for our enemies, scatter them...destroy them!...they almost destroyed me!

I went to a Worship Leaders conference several years ago. Several worship leaders were there to lead the different services. One stood out to me among the rest. This person, Dave Ruis, was different…I’m not sure he knew the congregation was there!  It was as though he was in his “prayer closet”…and we had been invited in to worship with him…there was no big show…no production…just worship…I am convinced his heart’s desire was to honor his King, just like he did when he was all alone...and to see his enemies be scattered! 

My desire when I have led worship in the past is that I would never leave behind those intimate times and places that I had with my Savior.  I tell people all the time...I don't have a beautiful voice and I'm no Phil Keaggy on the guitar...but I have been somewhere...a place I think the people of God want to go...a place the heart yearns and even faints for...the hidden place...the altar...the sanctuary of a mighty God...wanna go?!?

Jerusalem

"I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband."

Hold Jerusalem close. Deep in your heart. Guard her. Protect her. She is our delight. She is our home...our eternal destiny...our holy city...our sacred delight! Keep watch through the night for her...give yourself to her safety...clothe yourself with intercession for her...our warfare determines her destiny...

“If I forget you, O Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill.”

May we never forget her. In our wealth, may we never forget her, in our poverty, may we never forget her, in our pleasure, may we never forget her, in our pain, may we never forget her, in our hour of triumph may we never forget her and in the hour of persecution may we NEVER forget her.

"By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.  Upon the willows in the midst of it, we hung our harps."

Praise God this will never happen again! Never again will Jerusalem be left desolate with her children captive in a foreign land. She is now in our hearts....and that cannot be taken from us! Praise God our harps will never again be laid down and our songs of praise will never again be silenced!

 "Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ"

O Jerusalem...precious bride of the one, true, living God! You are beautiful on the mountains! A city on a hill...a glorious city...I can see you! In all your splendor...the splendor of the King...the beauty of his holiness. Adorned for the Groom! There is none like you, for you are truly filled with the Mighty One!

Oh holy and spotless, blameless Bride of Christ covered by the blood of your Groom...do you realize how loved and how coveted you are? Name the price! Name the price!  A groom's father might have said to a prospective father of a bride...

Name your price satan! Fallen one, deceiver, accuser, father of lies, prince of darkness...name your price for that which you have stolen!!!

Fine!!!  I will name it!!!  I will pay....

I will send my son...Like a sheep led to slaughter...

I will buy her back...She is my beloved...I will rescue her...

Maybe she will love me...

What could we possibly hold dearer in our hearts than our Jerusalem? Our sacred delight! Should anything grip our hearts more constant than the in-gathering of her citizens? May her thoughts never leave my mind, Lord. May her name never leave my lips. May her welfare never leave my heart. May her soul consume mine and may her labor be mine. O Jerusalem... My Father's beloved...my breath is consumed with intercession for you...I arise at dawn fixed on your every need...I lay down to sleep with your hope as my desire...when I lie down I ache for you. I search for you...I dream dreams concerning you...

O Jerusalem...I love when you gather to see the King! I long for the day you'll gather to see him face to face...I am captivated by your zeal for him...I am captivated with zeal for you...when you gather...I love you...when you worship, it's contagious...powerful...when you gather, the dark things disappear, the blemishes, the stains...I only see Him, his marvelous light!...and my heart burns with love for you...you are his treasure...and I treasure you the same...

“Comfort, O comfort My people,” says your God.  “Speak kindly to Jerusalem; And call out to her, that her warfare has ended,  That her iniquity has been removed,  That she has received of the Lord ’s  hand double for all her sins.” Isaiah 40

O Jerusalem, answer the call to warfare! Soon comfort will come...great...great comfort...great reward awaits you...eternal pleasures from his hand...don't give up...just a while longer...my eyes have seen a great thing...it is very soon...give yourselves fully to him...set yourselves fully on the hope you've received...set your affections on him, not on temporal things, they will soon be totally forgotten...give every moment to your eternal inheritance in Christ, your hope of glory!!!

O Jerusalem, tonight I dine with your warfare...wrestle with your enemies...intercede for your destiny.